she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
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Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
These tits shall not be calmed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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