Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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