Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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