forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
