marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
