Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
