I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
