Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
