No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
