If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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