i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
