You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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