the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
