Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
