Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize