belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
