Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just want to make out with him forever
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
