we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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