Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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