dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
