I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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