Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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