i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize