like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
