I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
