I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
