The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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