So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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