pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize