i used baking grease as lip gloss
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dick very happy bro
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
