He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
