Screwed.edu
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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