Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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