Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize