I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
