God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
