I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just want nice things and good sex
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
