So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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