yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I touched a dick in church today
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
