dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
