there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
