just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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