u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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