As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
