Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
