sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There r osticjed everywhere
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just had sex on a roof
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dicks are not precious.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
