billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
