based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
