I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
