I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
