We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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