I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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