would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
