Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
