toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
