After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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